When You Need HELP!
HARD MARRIAGE ISSUES often need COUNSELING:
We get a handful of questions each week from folks who have deeper “hard marriage issues” than we can handle. Often they are heartbreaking issues and often when one wants counseling and the other isn’t interested, often because they are involved in:
- Abuse – emotional, physical, verbal
- Addictions – Sexual, drugs, alcohol, etc.
- Lack of intimacy – sexually
While we care very much about YOU, you need to know that we are not counselors…we are not trained professionally to counsel couples through these hard marriage issues. There are others who have been trained and gone through much schooling to help people in this category of need.
A counseling and care line:
Books Related to Overcoming the Addiction to Pornography:
For helpful interent safeguards, try :
Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction by Mark Laaser
At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry by Steve Gallagher
Hope after Betrayal – Healing When Sexual Addiction Invades Your Marriage by Meg Wilson
SOFT MARRIAGE ISSUES often need MENTORING:
Mentoring can happen when BOTH spouses want to move forward and who are BOTH making progress in a forward direction and whose issues are more in line with what we call “soft marriage issues,” like learning to communicate better rather than the deeper issues just mentioned.
FamilyLife Mentoring resource:
GET STARTED ON YOUR OWN:
FOR DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT in a word or two:
https://www.facebook.com/MyMarriageMatters – click on this link and then click LIKE
FIND A CITY YOU CAN ATTEND:
www.familylife.com – FAMILYLIFE WEEKEND TO REMEMBER GET A WAY. You’ll get SO MUCH from this weekend and will save yourself a lot of money on counseling. THEN, if after this weekend (having not missed any sessions….) if you still want to get counseling, you can be more specific about the issues on which you need to work. Here is a discount code: DMDONOVAN (If for some reason it doesn’t go through, call 1-800-FLTODAY and ask for DAN DONOVAN who’ll get you the discount.)
Whether or not your spouse wants to get help, you can start to get the help YOU need. Here are a few links for (hopefully) both of you to check out:
Responding well in marital conflict – Leslie Vernick on Focus on the Family – 2 parts – both were great!
Drama Proofing your Life – 6 downloads that are amazing – On Midday Connection with Ray Kane.
If you’ve decided you have hard marriage issues, then here is help for you to find a counselor to help you.
- Find a counselor who is a MARRIAGE COUNSELOR. Ask others where they’ve had success. Be sure the counselor can handle the topic with which you are dealing – interview them. Tell them your main issues and seek someone who can speak to these issues. Being specific helps them to know where to send you. Otherwise, you risk of not being able to get to the root of the problem for a long time. Don’t waste time and money. SEARC H to find a good fit.
- Call Focus on the Family (in Colorado Springs but they have a list of names of potential counselors in your area.)
- Call the AMMFT (American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists) in your area. They are clinical members and are additionally supervised with hours post graduate.
- Christian Counseling Association
ANY COUNSELOR WHO TELLS YOU AFTER 3 VISITS THAT YOU SHOULD DIVORCE IS NOT WORTH GOING TO. FIND SOMEONE WHO WANTS YOUR MARRIAGE TO WORK AND WILL DO THE WORK WITH YOU TO MAKE IT FOR THE LONG HAUL!
The longer you wait the more isolated you’ll become. Don’t wait. Divorce is NOT the only option.