{"id":1069,"date":"2014-09-24T13:21:48","date_gmt":"2014-09-24T17:21:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/?p=1069"},"modified":"2014-09-24T13:21:48","modified_gmt":"2014-09-24T17:21:48","slug":"stop-talking-start-communicating-cross-the-track-wow-writing-on-wednesday-3-5-min-to-read","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/2014\/09\/24\/stop-talking-start-communicating-cross-the-track-wow-writing-on-wednesday-3-5-min-to-read\/","title":{"rendered":"STOP TALKING-START COMMUNICATING (Cross the Track!)\u2013(WOW! Writing on Wednesday:@ 3.5 min. to read)"},"content":{"rendered":"

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I love social media \u2013 connecting with others\u2026but that is at one level.<\/p>\n

At another level, I miss out on real \u201cface to face\u201d encounters. Even in the \u201cface to face\u201d moments, though very important, I\u2019m seeing that most people still miss a very important ingredient. I call that the \u201ccross the track\u201d ingredient.<\/p>\n

Let me explain by way of an example conversation:<\/p>\n

Person A: \u201cI just got back from Italy.\u201d<\/p>\n

Person B: \u201cI went to Italy in 2000. It was amazing.\u201d<\/p>\n

A: \u201cI loved Sorrento.\u201d<\/p>\n

B: \u201cI went through all of the country and loved Naples.\u201d<\/p>\n

A: \u201cWe had so much rain but it still was lovely.\u201d<\/p>\n

B: \u201cWe hope to go back and stay for a month in Tuscany someday.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Did you notice anything? If you didn\u2019t, go back and read it one more time. Then come back and read on\u2026..<\/p>\n

Both people were talking about their trips to Italy; they were on their own track talking about the same thing but but neither crossed the track to learn or care about what the other was sharing \u2013 they just wanted to share their <\/i>thoughts, their <\/i>ideas, their <\/i>remembrances, their<\/i> own information; but neither entered into or inquired about the thoughts, ideas, or information the other shared. They just talked about themselves and from their perspective. They never \u201ccrossed the tracks\u201d to learn about, care, or show interest in the other person. If we were to continue listening in on this conversation it would most likely be more evident at how selfish it is. It’s a parallel conversation; same topic, moving forward, but never engaging or entering in to what the other person was expressing.<\/p>\n

Perhaps you\u2019re asking, \u201cSo how would one \u2018cross the track\u2019? I don\u2019t see anything wrong with this conversation!\u201d We cross the track by letting the person share and then asking them questions to enter in to their idea, to learn about them, to care about their <\/i>life and story not just our own. They may or may not ever cross the track to our side, but here is how it might look:<\/p>\n

Person A: \u201cI just got back from Italy.\u201d<\/p>\n

Person B: \u201cI loved Italy. What was it that you liked?\u201d<\/p>\n

A: \u201cI loved Sorrento.\u201d<\/p>\n

B: \u201cWhat was your highlight in Sorrento?”<\/p>\n

A: \u201cDefinitely the lemon groves.\u201d<\/p>\n

And if Person A is at all considerate, at some point they\u2019ll \u201ccross the track\u201d and here is how that might look:
\nA: \u201cSo, you\u2019ve been to Italy, too? When did you go? What was your <\/i>highlight?”<\/p>\n

Do you see it?\u00a0If we pay attention to our next conversation, we\u2019ll soon and easily see who is caring and considerate (and wants to learn about us) by whether or not they ever cross the track. But we can start it. We don\u2019t have to wait for them. Just remember that it isn\u2019t until we \u201ccross the track\u201d that we really begin communicating (transferring or exchanging information).<\/p>\n

FOLLOW UP<\/span><\/i><\/b> if you’d like to read more:<\/p>\n

A few months ago Joe and I were enjoying a meal with another couple for the first time. As we \u00a0finished, the other couple looked at each other and then to us and said, \u201cThis was so refreshing!\u201d We said, \u201cWe feel the same!\u201d And then I added, \u201cAnd I know why! I\u2019ll bet you are seldom engaged in real\u00a0<\/em>conversation…that you <\/em>ask the questions\u00a0but seldom get asked\u00a0questions.\u201d She said, \u201cThat\u2019s exactly it! We seem to engage with others by asking them questions and before you know it the evening is over!\u201d I likened it to “interviewing” rather than conversing with others!<\/p>\n

What made that conversation refreshing is that everyone<\/i> around the table took interest, cared, and sincerely wanted to hear more from the other person – not just sharing their own information. We all didn’t just listen, but got to share, too! It was, indeed REFRESHING to stop talking and really communicate by crossing the tracks. \u00a0Try it – it’s a lot of fun!<\/p>\n

(Cross the Tracks<\/em> with me on Facebook @ #Cindi Ferrini where I post a CONVERSATION STARTER questions @ 9:00 a.m [most] weekdays. After you read and answer it, you can use the question to stimulate conversation with others and engage with them! I\u2019d love to have you join in the fun!)<\/p>\n

Photo and manuscript\u00a0\u00a9Cindi Ferrini<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

          I love social media \u2013 connecting with others\u2026but that is at one level. At another level, I miss out on real \u201cface to face\u201d encounters. Even in the \u201cface to face\u201d moments, though very important, I\u2019m seeing that most people still miss a very important ingredient. I call that the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[18,33,38,78,126],"class_list":["post-1069","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-asking-questions","tag-communication","tag-cross-the-tracks","tag-listening","tag-talking"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1069","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1069"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1069\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1069"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1069"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1069"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}