{"id":617,"date":"2013-11-06T19:39:02","date_gmt":"2013-11-07T00:39:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/?p=617"},"modified":"2013-11-06T19:39:02","modified_gmt":"2013-11-07T00:39:02","slug":"dear-arnold-as-in-schwarzenegger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/2013\/11\/06\/dear-arnold-as-in-schwarzenegger\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Arnold (as in Schwarzenegger)"},"content":{"rendered":"

READING TIME is < 3 minutes<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Previously posted\/re-posting to THIS – our NEW WEBSITE! WELCOME!<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Arnold Schwarzenegger,<\/strong><\/p>\n

We see you at every conference we do for FamilyLife around the country.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sometimes it\u2019s the husband, and sometimes it\u2019s the wife, but here is the all too common scenario:<\/strong>
\n \u201cI made a mistake and had (\u201cX\u201d numbers of affairs for \u201cX\u201d number of years.) NOW, I want to make things work with my spouse.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

OK\u2026.it can happen, but it probably won\u2019t happen until:<\/strong><\/p>\n

1- ADMIT you SINNED<\/strong>
\n 2-GO for counseling to get the help you need to understand your wrongs\/sins and what you will need to do to get back on track<\/strong>
\n 3- RE-BUILD TRUST \u2013 you can, and while it often takes a few years, it can be done<\/strong><\/p>\n

We hear that you are sorry for your mistakes, etc. and you want to restore that relationship \u2013 and we pray that will happen for you\u2026.but let\u2019s not forget that you need to be truly remorseful and want to make the changes needed so that it won\u2019t keep happening, something USA Today along with 60 Minutes, Hannity, and numerous other shows quote you confessing to other affairs\u2026.indicating this is a purposeful pattern. From our experience, getting on track with God (or getting back on track with God) is the foundation upon which to build true lasting reconciliation.<\/strong><\/p>\n

We agree with your own words \u2013 that you \u201cmade a mistake,\u201d that you \u201care not perfect\u201d, that you \u201cscrewed up\u201d by fathering a child and kept that secret for 14 years\u2026and (according to USA TODAY 10\/1\/12) that \u201cYou can\u2019t run from your mistakes. You have to confront them.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

But at what point in those 14 years did you consider confessing your sin to your wife and to God and stepping up to be the man you should have been? Have you even done that yet, or are you just looking for someone (the public) to say, \u201cYes, we support you, and feel sorry for you.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

USA Today\u2019s sub-headline (pg. 2D) was: SCHWARZENEGGER HOPES HE, SHRIVER RECONNECT. And you know what? All of us who speak on behalf of making marriage matter hope you can reconnect, too\u2026.but as you are known for your well rehearsed line, \u201cI\u2019ll be back\u201d \u2013 realize that will only begin to be a reality when you own up to the sins you need to confess: adultery, deception, lying, and probably a few others the public isn\u2019t privy to.<\/strong><\/p>\n

We, the public don\u2019t need to be privy to your sin\u2026that is between YOU, GOD and MARIA\u2026..not in a book (that I will personally not be interested in reading) to air dirty laundry in public. I\u2019d like to read the book you write when you confront your sin, ask for forgiveness and model a marriage for your kids and your future grand kids that will make your marriage the legacy it could be if you get back on track.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And should you (or others) like some resources to make YOUR MARRIAGE MATTER:<\/strong><\/p>\n

www.familylife.com – Marriage information, conferences, books, tools\u2026..<\/strong><\/p>\n

STEPPING UP by Dennis Rainey: http:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/p-2307-stepping-up-video-series-leader-kit.aspx<\/strong><\/p>\n

CHOOSING FORGIVENESS: http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Choosing-Forgiveness-Your-Journey-Freedom\/dp\/0802432514<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

READING TIME is < 3 minutes Previously posted\/re-posting to THIS – our NEW WEBSITE! WELCOME! Dear Arnold Schwarzenegger, We see you at every conference we do for FamilyLife around the country. Sometimes it\u2019s the husband, and sometimes it\u2019s the wife, but here is the all too common scenario: \u201cI made a mistake and had (\u201cX\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[13,43,82,83,104],"class_list":["post-617","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-affairs","tag-divorce","tag-marriage","tag-marriage-matters","tag-reconcile"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/617","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=617"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/617\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=617"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=617"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=617"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}