{"id":659,"date":"2013-11-06T23:05:12","date_gmt":"2013-11-07T04:05:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/?p=659"},"modified":"2013-11-06T23:05:12","modified_gmt":"2013-11-07T04:05:12","slug":"put-your-actions-behind-your-words","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/2013\/11\/06\/put-your-actions-behind-your-words\/","title":{"rendered":"Put Your Actions Behind Your Words"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Previously posted\/newly updated and re-posted on THIS our NEW website\/blog!<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\">READING TIME @ 3.5 minutes<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201cSpecial-needs kids are not sick, gross or stupid. They only want what we all want: to be accepted. Can I make a request? Is anyone willing to post this &amp; leave it as your status for at least an hour? It\u2019s Special Education Week, and this is in honor of all the kids God has made in a unique way.\u201d (Facebook post 2010)<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re socially connected on the internet, you\u2019ve probably seen this post on Facebook. As a mother whose son has special needs, I\u2019ve not yet posted it. Not that there is anything <em>wrong <\/em>with that statement because I\u2019ve certainly worked these past 30+ years of his life to educate others as to the <em>worth <\/em>of those with special needs, and the need for others to be truly accepting of them.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t posted it because it\u2019s not quite hitting the mark for me.<\/p>\n<p>Those if us whose children have special needs certainly want our children to be accepted, but that is a word rather than an action. Let me explain. I John 3:18, \u201c\u2026let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>My son is precious to me. If you say you \u201caccept\u201d him, I\u2019m delighted. But when you walk away, I only know your words, not your heart. What allows me to understand that your words held some weight and what would show me your heart of acceptance is what I see if you talk to him, how you treat him, help him, care about him. It goes beyond not making fun of someone with special needs. It goes to the heart of helping and accepting and showing it.<\/p>\n<p>How willing and ACCEPTING are you to those in your life who have special needs:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Have you caught yourself saying things like, \u201cWow, what a wasted life \u2013 she just lies there,\u201d \u201cEven though she can\u2019t respond, I wonder what thoughts and emotions are going on in her head that we just can\u2019t know because she can\u2019t express it. She would probably have such grand things to offer.\u201d On which train of thought do you run? There lies the answer to how truly accepting you are of those with special needs.<\/li>\n<li>Are you willing to move out of your \u201ccomfort zone\u201d of life and help?<\/li>\n<li>Can you hug, appropriately touch, or shake the hand of the one with special needs and say \u201chello\u201d?<\/li>\n<li>Would you be willing to wipe drool from a chin; change a diaper on a teen with special needs?<\/li>\n<li>Have you considered visiting a child with special needs in the hospital so the family could step away for a bit? (Hospital stays for those with special needs are frequent.)<\/li>\n<li>Would you offer to stay with a special needs child so the parents could go out for a cup of coffee, a dinner, or go away for a weekend?<\/li>\n<li>Volunteer in a ministry at church that cares for those with special needs so their families can enjoy a service uninterrupted?<\/li>\n<li>Stop over and play a video game with the one with special needs, or read them a book, or watch a movie with them\u2026.<\/li>\n<li>Invite them to join you in something you enjoy-a sports game (if they\u2019re able to go), a walk (even if you walk them in their wheelchair), and a movie (if they\u2019re able to handle the stimulus of a big screen, the loud noises, etc.), or even a meal\u2026<\/li>\n<li>Invite the family for dinner. (In all my son\u2019s years I can name the families who have asked us over for a meal including our son. There are but a handful.)<\/li>\n<li>Offer make a meal and come over for a visit. (Friends did this for us and we were thrilled!)<\/li>\n<li>Offer to do something for the family that is not easy for them to do? EXAMPLES: shovel their drive if they can\u2019t leave their loved one alone; offer to grocery shop because their 10 year old can\u2019t be put into a cart; bring a meal when you know they\u2019ve had a rough week; offer to do dusting or vacuuming or any household chore once a month, planting a garden, cutting grass\u2026.<\/li>\n<li>Visit the family when you know they\u2019ve not gotten out for days, weeks, or months.<\/li>\n<li>So you wonder <em>how<\/em> to make this happen? Here are a few thoughts:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>When you begin to think about how you\u2019d like to be treated, you\u2019ll find that these families, like mine, are not much different than yours \u2013 we just don\u2019t have the same freedoms. We can\u2019t just pick up and go and our time is not our own. If you\u2019re looking for a way to show that you are accepting of the special needs child \u2013 humble yourself, pick up the phone, and call the family.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Offer what you can with what you have. If you can offer once a week, once a month, once a year\u2026your offer will likely seldom be refused. We\u2019ve learned to take what we get.<\/li>\n<li>If you\u2019re not sure what to offer as far as help, ask them. Share with them if you\u2019re not comfortable with something or if you\u2019d need to be trained. They\u2019ll help you learn.<\/li>\n<li>Ask God to supply you with what you don\u2019t have \u2013 stamina, patience, or acceptance -we do it every day.<\/li>\n<li>Pray for them. Their job is 24\/7 and for many, they will do it for a lifetime.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>As you enlarge your understanding of the one with special needs and the needs their families have, you will be learning and showing how to accept them. Families caring for someone full time aren\u2019t expecting grand things. They are looking to find a new normal to their everyday life and for people who will accept what that is for them -amazing acceptance, challenge and work. They are looking for others who truly accept their child, their station in life, and someone who can understand the tremendous challenge it can be.<\/p>\n<p>Putting actions behind <em>your <\/em>words will <em>show<\/em> not just <em>say,<\/em><strong><i> <\/i><\/strong>you\u2019re \u201caccepting.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Previously posted\/newly updated and re-posted on THIS our NEW website\/blog! READING TIME @ 3.5 minutes \u201cSpecial-needs kids are not sick, gross or stupid. They only want what we all want: to be accepted. Can I make a request? Is anyone willing to post this &amp; leave it as your status for at least an hour? [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-659","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/659","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=659"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/659\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=659"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=659"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cindiferrini.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=659"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}